Talking Back to Shame

Over the last few months, every time I sit down to write something to post, I stop myself.  My mind gets involved and reminds me of how quiet I have been over the last year plus.  It tries to convince me there is no way I can start to speak and share now, after all the silence I held during such a tumultuous, horrific (at times), uncertain, heart-opening, mind-opening period of time. 

The shame gets loud and I put off writing for another day.

But that’s not how I want to live.  I don’t want shame driving the bus.  I don’t want to worry about saying the wrong thing. 

I want to offer myself the same grace I would a friend. 

And if I was talking to a friend about this past year, I would offer compassion and remind him/her/them that we were doing the best we could at the time.  

I can remind myself of all the growth that happened during that quiet time.  And move on with conviction and determination that my season of silence has allowed me to find a stronger, more truthful way forward.

So here I am.  Moving ahead, feeling more equip to communicate with more honesty, curiosity, and compassion.

My writing is where I work out whatever’s on my mind (there’s always a lot going on as I tend to overthink) and on my heart. 

I chose to put Brené Brown’s words front and center on this website as a reminder to keep writing to uncover and share the wild parts of my heart – the parts that don’t want to listen to old prescriptions about how things “should” be done or felt. 

Do the world a favor: speak your truth. Follow your wild heart.

– Brené Brown

WILD is a word I am trying on and hoping to embrace –  people probably wouldn’t think of that word when they think of me and that’s ok.  I’m ready adopt words in a new ways.  And see myself in new ways. 

I’m following my curiosity and getting better at listening to the soft whispers of a wild heart asking for more play, more love, more beauty, more of ME.  

Here we go!